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Dad is dying. We have all come to grips with that. He lives with my half-sister Terry and her husband Monte. For the privlige of a tiny room and two meals cooked for him, Dad pays them $800/month. he has done this since 12/05. Considering they live in a two bedroom apartment in West Milton, Terry and Monter benefit greatly from this. Now, Dad is going down the tubes quickly. He has heart failure that was aggravated by open heart surgery in December. It was suppossed to help but medicine is funny like that.
Anyways, in the past few weeks he has gotten weaker and weaker. he has no energy, his feet are so swollen he can barely walk and when he does he falls. Now, Terry and Monte decided that Dad wouldn't get a wheelchair or he get 'lazy.' WTF?? A LAZY 80 year old man.... Their solution, get him a walker with wheels! YEP, that will help.
Now, during the before mentioned heart surgery, I was informed that I was no longer his healthcare POA. Nope, now all decisions will be made by my sister Terry. The bitch drinks from the time she wakes up until she passes out but I digress...
The point is I can no longer make any decisions. Anything I mention to Terry she blows off or ignores. I have been taking care of people my entire adult life. I just want to kick her and ask "WHY??" Why don't you listen to me?
Tonight I find out that Dad is drooling and barely awake. Can I rush out and see him. NO!!! I have to call in the morning and they will see if I can come over.
Last week, I recieved an e-mail informing me that my family *all my family* would be unable to attend my wedding. Why you ask?? Because they do not approve of my "Pagan lifestyle." I am evil and they will not support me. Yep, I am the evil one. I have lived a life in service to the human community. It doesn't matter. Nothing but the blood of Christ can save me. God doesn't count good deeds you see..
- Mood:
bitchy
Sunday morning, Arleigh and I headed to Heritage Unitarian Universalist Church. I had only been to one UU church for a class I took at Sinclair. I really enjoyed it! The congregation was made up of thinking people. In a nutshell, they believe that there is truth in all religions but no one religion contains all the truth. More and more, that is becoming the core of my faith. I still consider myself Pagan but my focus is widening. There is one more UU church in the area I would like to check out, St. John's. Terry is interested in them because they have a group that gets together to play weird boad games on the last Friday of every month.
We have someone from Home Depot coming out tonight to give us a price on new windows. We bought the house knowing we would have to replace the windows. They are terrible. Half of them won't open, the rest don't stay open without being propped. Not to mention, being the original windows, they aren't very energy efficient.
Hopefully, the weather won't be bad this week and I can finish painting the bathroom. It was so humid last week, the first coat of paint took almost 48 hours to fully dry.
We are still debating whether we will go to Cornstalk or not. I would love to go but I am not sure we have the time. I guess we had better decide by tomorrow as the price jumps up. I contacted Wisteria to ask about volunteering in the Med Tent. I haven't heard anything back yet though.
- Mood:
happy
OK, I suck at updates. The past few weeks of life have been INSANE, even by my standards. We are now official Milford (Cincinnati) residents. I love the new house. It is spacious. We have a 1/3 acre backyard, a fire pit, and a huge deck. The area is quiet but has good access to shopping and entertainment. The school district is one of the best in the state. All in all, I am thrilled.
I am struggling with not having a job yet, but I haven't really looked. It is more important to get the house together at the moment. There has never been a time in my adult life that I haven't HAD to work. I should be enjoing it but I can't seem to relax. Maybe in a few weeks...
Terry and I went to Wisteria's Summer Solstice festival. It was one of the best weeks of my life. The feel is so much better there since Circle Sanctuary left. No politics, no stress. We camped with the Pirates. I was dubbed Ginger Knickers the Viscous. We had a jovial game of "steal the flag" with Wisteria and the Green man Tavern. The story is too long to type but it ended in a midnight raid. Almost all the Wisteria staffers rode ten golf carts into our camp at midnight. They came in with guns blazing to retrive the Green Man tavern sign. It was something to see Charlene, Todd, and so many others "boarding the pirates." Aside from the fun, the music and workshops were amazing. Wendy Rule is awesome! We had such a good time, we are thinking about returning to Wisteria for Cornstalk.
There isn't too much left to plan for the wedding. A last few details and we will be done! It hasn't been nearly as stressful planning this one as the last one.
Arleigh is growing up so fast. She is now about 90% potty trained. I can't believe she is 3 already. At her check-up, the doctor recommended we consider enrolling her in Kindergarten at 4. I am still researching the pro's and con's of that.
We are planning a house warming party on 7/18 (also Terry's b-day) in the evening. Pot luck and BYOB but no gifts. Let me know if you are interested!! I am sure there will be firespinning.
- Mood:busy
My sister called back before too long. They gave Dad the probable cause of the bleeding. Lung Cancer. I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world. I watched my Mom die of cancer in 2004. I was not looking forward to repeating that experience. The doctors decided they would run a scope down his lungs on Tuesday to see how bad it was. After the scope they said the spots that were cancerous (or possibly cancerous) weren't too bad. Not bad enough to cause the amount of bleeding. The doctors were going to keep him in the ICU for recovery that night.
WEdnesday morning I called to see how he was feeling. I could speak to him because he was getting a breathing treatment. I said that I would call later. Well, call I did. I spoke with his nurse. She told me that while she couldn't give much info over the phone and that Dad was stable at the moment, he wasn't doing well. I headed straight there after work. I was able to get the full story.
While Dad does have some cancer, that will not be what he dies from. My Father's heart is failing. His Mitral Valve is leaking. The blood in his lungs has backed up because his heart cannot pump strong enough to get the blood flowing throughout his body. The blood has to go somewhere. The only cure is a valve replacement. However, Dad is not a canidate for surgery. He is 77, had Diabetes, and smokes like a fiend. They have him on a short term therapy to get rid of they blood but he cannot stay on it for longer than five days. He is on day three. The aim will be to make him as comfortable as possible for the time he has left.
- Mood:
sad
1. I left my coven. Everything has its season. My time with the coven was memorable. I learned lots and met some really great people. After much soul-searching I decided to follow a different path. The Druid path has been calling to me as of late. I like that their groves are mostly open and I can bring Arleigh with me. It is hard to raise a child Pagan if you don't have many chances to take them to ritual. When I first started down this road, the idea of a closed coven was fascinating. Now, I wish to worship in an open way with others.
2. I am considering leaving the Pagan Oasis group. Seems like I am doing lots of leaving doesn't it? After a huge blow-up and many hurt feelings (I won't discuss the reasons here) I think my time with the group may be coming to a close. I have been through this before with the Dayton Pagan group and I hate to watch it happen here. In some ways, I think Paganism lends itself to major drama. It can be clicky and wishy-washy. The last month or so has been eye-opening to say the least. Life is too short to live in constant negativity.
3. I am going back to school. YIKES!! It is no secret that I have been unhappy with my job for sometime. I am tired of hauling three hundred pound people out of their houses and taking them to the hospital for a hangnail. Eww. You wouldn't believe some of the houses I have been in recently. So, after much discussion with my other half, I will be starting back to school in November for nursing. Hopefully after a difficult few years I will be working in Labor and Delivery again! I LOVED it in L&D. Mostly happy, challenging, and fast paced. Exactly what I want.
4. We are probably moving in the Spring. As long as Terry's job stays at CVG airport, we will be taking ourselves to the East side of Cincinnati. The move will be hectic, sad, and hopeful all at the same time. Busy because nothing is easy with a toddler, sad to leave people behind, and hopeful for our future!
With all the bitching I have just dome you would think that I am ungrateful. Actually, I feel very blessed to have had the experiences that I have. I have most beautiful little girl, a wonderful partner in Terry, and a circle of friends that although changing, is very supportive
- Mood:
thoughtful
This weekend was crazy busy! Friday we went to play board games at Kimber and Matt's place. Saturday was mulching the front yard during the day. That evening, we went to the drive-in with Heather and her crew. We watched Babylon AD and Mirrors. Both movies were interesting. Sunday morning we brunched at the Sunrise Cafe in Yellow Springs. Then the day got interesting...
I ran across the street to grab cash at the ATM before heading to the Fair at New Boston. We drove to the fair and spent a few great hours looking at and buying stuff there. On the way home, we stopped for ice cream at Young's before hitting Kroger. At the checkout, I go to grab my debit card and guess what... I don't have it! It appears I left it in the ATM at the bank in Yellow Springs. Oops!! I called the bank and they cancelled that card and are sending me a new one this week.
Today, we went to see tha Bodies Exhibit at the Cincy Museum. It was wonderful! I have taken my fair share of anatomy classes and this exhibit just made so many things crystal clear! We spent a few hours there, had dinner at a restaurant in Springdale, the stopped by Jungle Jim's.
A very good but tiring weekend!!
- Mood: happy
The Invitation by Oriah Mountaindreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
- Mood: contemplative
Saturday morning after a yummy breakfast of Chocolate Chip pancakes we went to Conkle's Hollow for some hiking. As this was the same place we went last year, Terry and I decided to take the Rim Trail. It was about a 2.5 mile hike. Although very beautiful, with views from the top of the waterfall and cliffs, the "up" part of the hike was rough. I don't get winded easily and I was wondering if I was gonna make it or not! Thankfully, Terry was winded too. After the initial climb, the trail was gorgeous. It was really worth it! After the hike we headed back to camp for lunch. It rained shortly after we got back to camp so we lunched under the pavilion. After lunch, I napped until the tent turned into an oven. Later, we went swimming and had dinner. Trish made THE BEST baked beans I had ever tasted. Probably had something to do with the molasses and brown sugar. After dark, Terry, Kris, and I did some fire spinning. Nobody caught themselves on fire! For the next couple of hours there was much drinking, playing of Curses, and a few more rounds of "Are You a Werewolf?" One round, Trish and I were the wolves and managed to eat the whole village without the suspecting we were the wolves!!
Sunday we packed up and made it home around 2ish. After a lovely nap, we had dinner at Young's with Gary, RObyn, and Miranda. It was a great weekend!
- Mood: content
Friday evening after Terry drove me crazy looking for a griddle we finally left to set up the tent and stuff. Around 7pm we left to grab dinner and head to Robyn's studio for fire spinning. That went well. WE did a few burns each then the rain got to be too much. Terry and I headed back to the campground and made it to bed around 1am.
Bright and early (too early) on Saturday I got up to do .. umm... nothing much. We sat around and talked, spun poi, and prepard for the ritual and potluck later in the evning. The ritual was great and the food was very good. When it started to get dark, we started fire spinning. This is where the night became interesting.
Pan went out first, followed by Robyn and her tongue transfers. Then I soaked my poi and went out to spin. Right away, I noticed my flames were huge and I had lots and lots of residual fuel flying off. I did some fast spinning trying to get the fuel off. After the flames died down a bit, I decided to do a behind my head move. It was fine until I brought the poi back in front of my face and caught my head on fire! Don't worry.. just alittle hair loss on my right temple area and my ear i a wee bit sore! I finished the burn after Gary put my head out and retired to the sidelines. Apparently, Pan proceeded to catch both his arm and crotch on fire. Follwed by Terry catching the back of his head on fire too... So overall, it was amature fire spinning night. A lesson on what not to do!! We ended the night with a rousing game of Curses and more Tequlia, Mead, and Jello shots!
Sunday moring I awoke to the sound of the kitchen tent falling on our tent. I got up and survey the damage. It had poured rain at some point duriong the nigt and the storm was getting stronger. We broke down camp in the rain.. it was miserable!
I enjoyed the weekend!
- Mood: cheerful
Yep
2. Has any of your friends seen you naked?
Sadly yes
Today was fun but very, very busy. We went to the Newport Aquarium. There were quite a few of us, Terry, Arleigh, me, Robyn, Gary, Josh, and Miranda. It was great. My favorite part was seeing and petting all the sharks. They also had a rainforest exhibit that featured some kind of small, colorful bird. The birds were friendly and you could feed them nectar. Arleigh was fascinated by them. Terry held her up so she was eye-level with them. She was so still and quiet. It is so cool to watch a child (especially yours) see and experience something for the first time.
After the fish we went to Jungle Jim's and spent waaayyyyy too much money. I love that store though and it had been a long time since I had been there. Shortly after we got home we decided to have dinner with other friends, Heather and Mike and their two daughters. Then off to Meijer's and Home Deport. I deposited a very sleepy Arleigh into bed a wee bit later than normal. Who knows, maybe she will sleep later!
Now, I am looking up recipes for leg of lamb. I have NO idea what to do with it. 
- Mood:
tired
Other than that I hope it will be a quiet weekend. As quiet as it can be with a toddler anyways....
- Mood: peaceful
YEAH!!! Whew, 2007 was nuts. I can only hope that 2008 will be less crazy (way less crazy). It is starting out great. Arleigh and I are slowly settling into Terry's house. No more bachelor pad for him!! HAHAHAHAHA
Instead of complaining about my bad year I am gonna list good things that happened:
1. Healthy and beautiful child
2. Great friendships
3. Found a very nice guy :)
4. Went two places I had never been, Pittsburgh and Mystic, Connecticut
5. Re-entered the workforce
6. I spun fire
7. PSG
- Mood: thankful
